Brandi Carlile tears at your heart and soul.....

I have been dying to hear the rest of Brandi Carlile's cd "The Story" after hearing the title track several times. Her voice is so powerful, and the lyrics are almost trance enducing... I bought this cd yesterday and have been blown away by her talent. Talent including singing ability and the lyrics of her songs. If ever there were a window into anyone's soul... this is it... you can FEEL it in the way that she sings, and hear it in the words. I have fallen in love with every single song on this album. I recommend this cd to anyone who truly enjoys singing ability, soul, heart, passion & the truth of the soul and heartbreak. My first thought to describe this entire album and her talent: Beautiful. This cd will become a part of you, if it isn't already.

First Loves = Only real loves???

Do we ever really get over them, or the imprint they or the relationship leaves on our hearts, in our heads?

I can't help but wonder if everyone feels the way that I do... I suppose that it depends on the length of the relationship, what the couple went through. With my own experience it was back and forth, years apart, then back together, a roller coaster ride for years and years. Way too many issues stemming from the time spent apart... but amazingly deep love... an amazing connection... amazing enough, to tear eachother apart until it was ended for good. Yet, as I "move on" I still find myself comparing... feeling as if things are missing in a new relationship, even when they are the tiniest things. It's as if this relationship, the first love (which.. that term doesn't seem to do it justice), serves as some sort of outline that I use as a comparison to what kind of relationship I need... making it a bigger deal than it should be (whatever is "missing"). Sometimes this thing that is "missing" can be refreshing in the beginning. A welcomed change. But sometimes this fades... I can't help but think that there is something wrong with me. How can you move on and love another person, but feel like it will never match up to that other love... yet, survive through it, knowing that maybe you will never feel that much again... maybe you have to accept that this is still love... just a different kind of love? And of course... a different person who has struck something in your heart.

Hmmm... my thoughts stop there for now, or should I say, they scramble themselves too much to really write them down....

The Britney Spears Obsession

All over the news, all over the internet, all over gossip sites. Everyone has their opinion on Britney Spears and the situation she is in these days. And when I say everyone has their opinion, I mean... ranging from words of hope for her to people calling for her death.

It is no secret that our society is entirely too celebrity focused. But the extent that some people go to, to stay "up" on these people's lives is an atrocity. I'm sorry, what makes it more of an atrocity is how many people are "experts" on this girl, Britney Spears, and the extent of the insults that are thrown in her direction... though none of them really know her.

I am a Britney Spears fan. I enjoy her music and I have in the past very much enjoyed her shows. I was 15 when her music hit the radio waves and have been a fan since. I have always thought that she was beautiful and had such a fun, cuteness about her. From what I saw of her, she seemed a lot like me and my friends. It has been 10 years since she came out (wow) and I still hold the same opinion of her.

I think that it is sad that people who want to judge this girl (this girl... of which we only know of by what the media shows us) forget to take into account that well, they don't know her. Yet they want to call her trash, they want to call her a whore, an idiot, an unfit mother.

I think for the most part, the only thing that has been proven in terms of what the media has shown us is this: Britney Spears is going through something. Possibly a nervous breakdown? The beginnings of one, or possibly the climax of one (I hope this is the climax, as it would be even sadder if things get worse for her). She has grown up in the spotlight, with celebrity status. She was adored and loved for so long. Then she REALLY grows up. Starts hitting those growth speed bumps that most of us hit. And "everyone" is watching all along. She goes through a break up (with her quoted "first love") that is chronicled by tabloid magazines every step of the way. She hits the ages that hey, most of us haven't hit without making or coming across regrets, mistakes, sillyness. (How else do we learn?) She takes some tumbles, all the while, "everyone" judging her on these tumbles with judgmental, unforgiving eyes. Now she seems to have hit the worst tumble of all. I don't know what is going on in her life but I feel for her. I can not imagine going through the times I've had with people trailing me with camera's and judging me on every move that I made. You could equate the tabloid gossip that she has received for the past few years as emotional abuse. I don't care who you are, if you have someone telling you terrible things about yourself over and over and over again, you run the risk of beginning to believe these things, you run the risk of losing who you are, ESPECIALLY in these crucial years. And with what I have seen... it is definitely probable with what she has been through, that she is having what they call a nervous breakdown. I suppose everyone is different... that is why I say that we "run the risk".

What I'm really saying is, that I think that she needs to be left alone (by the paparazzi and media). I don't know if it's true what they are saying about her calling them, but I just find it hard to believe that with what she's going through in terms of custody issues with her children, that she would do so. If so, well then it's true that the blame is on her. I suppose I've just gone into overload from reading people trash her from the purse that she uses all the time to the person that she is. It's disgusting and quite revealing about the majority of our society. Hypocritical and judgmental.